Some people can be oh so dense..........

Once sang Frank Black of Pixies fame - (lets be honest, bare the bones and admit they are just about the greatest band every) - and duh am I ever feeling that sendiment.....

Now, for the last couple of months I've been involved in an emotional balancing act since my GF in an act of self absorption decided to:

- fuck -okay - maybe over dramatising - she tells me it was three snogs but what gives? - (I know for a fact that at the age of 34 if I was put in an environment where the population was late teen/ early twenty bikini clad nymphos I'd tuck in ...... but I digress)

-some chap by the name of Doug (Doug? I mean for Fucks sake - if you wanna cheat on me at least honor my memory by at least making sure the chap in question has a kick arse moniker) - but Doug? FFS the mind boofles - that was meant to read boggles but you know what? Boofles is a kick arse word I've just made up/ mistyped and I like it.............)

- thus meaning I've had to move out of the home we have shared for four years not to mention the other two years we had together in her flat (boy, does she owe me that time - once the mental scars have healed I'll write about it).

- into a flat where my new flat mate is fit but mad, fit but mad. My God it all seems so familiar.....

- thus meaning I have found myself torn asunder by having to try and rebuild bridges with my Gf whilst giving the impression to my new flat mate that my social life is a fucking W.H.I.R.L.....

- thus I am turning schizo'd with this social chimera behaviour....

which would all be fine and dandy except it's led to me

- to be told this evening by my Gf after weeks of me cooking, cleaning, looking after her animals, being tender, understanding (to a frankly Mother Gandhi level), in short being fucking t.h.e.r.e for her (even though and lets not forget this - I'm the victim here!) that I haven't done anything she WANTED............even though nothing offered by me has been turned down............. as Frank said at the start of this - "some people can be oh so dense.............."

- Ladies and gentleman - it's a lesson learnt - if you've just been in a relationship that's just been betrayed or one that is ending or one that you feel should end just go and get your self ruthlessly shagged by the first "passable" person you can find........... in situations put your heart and head on the back burner and let your social hob-knobbing be led literally by your groin. Chances are it won't accomplish anything but when the woman with whom you've tried to reconcile throws everything to dust with a throw away sentence at least you'll have experiences over the proceeding weeks that replace her in the wank bank....... a small consolation I grant you but a consolation nonetheless.......